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Schools

Sayville Speaks out on Cyber-Bullying

School Forum discusses what's happening online and how to prevent your child from being attacked.

In an effort to keep Sayville the friendliest town in America, the school district held a "" lecture on Nov. 3 aimed at preventing bullying, cyber-bullying in particulr. Keynote speakers included a police detective and a bullying victim. High school principal Ronald Hofffer started off the program by addressing attendees. "Bullying and cyber-bullying are more pervasive than you realize," he told the audience.

Detective Rory Forrestal spoke to the crowd about Internet safety issues. Detective Forrestal is a 24-year veteran of the Suffolk County Police Department and he was instrumental in establishing the Computer Crimes Unit. Since its inception in 1999, he has worked on numerous cases involving the Internet and has become a nationally recognized expert on Internet safety.

Detective Forrestal spoke about the dramatic change that has occurred in terms of cyber-bullying and "sexting" in the last year. "There's been a dramatic shift, created by technology and by the environment," he said. "I'm being very blunt and direct here today in hopes that you will go home and throw your computers in the lake."

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He provided parents with a list of websites that should never be on their child's  computer. "If you see these sites on your computer, immediately block them," he said. Aside from Facebook and MySpace, sites like Formspring, where users can post anonymous comments, are hot spots for bullies. Formspring keeps no records of these comments so police can't even track down the culprits.

Detective Forrestal also pointed to some recent cases of cyber-bullying that have drawn media attention. One particular case that hit close to home was the recent West Islip case that ended in the suicide of . Another example is the Phoebe Prince case, where a 15-year-old girl from Ireland was bullied in a Massachusetts high school to the point where she committed suicide. "When cyber-bullying causes kids to kill themselves, you would definitely agree this has taken a turn," Detective Forrestal said. "Where do you draw the line between harassment and free speech? Where does bad behavior cross the line to become criminal?"

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The first step starts with education and parents need to get involved. "We need to teach our children some empathy," he added. "Unfortunately, we have powerful tools now that cause them great harm." Some key issues to address with your children include:

  • Control (who you should add, how to keep your stuff private, and using the privacy blockers.)
  • Only talk to people you would talk to in real life – don't add people you don't know.
  • Sit down with your kids and learn about Facebook.
  • In dealing with the bullies, don't respond, block them and print and save any threats.
  • Report/support: Tell someone, support your friends and speak up.

The Internet isn't just a place for bullying. According to a recent statistic, about one-third of young adults 20-26 and 20 percent of teens say they've sent or posted naked or semi-naked photos or videos of themselves, mostly to be fun or flirtatious.

Teenagers may think this is something fun or cool to do, but once this picture is in cyber-space it is out there forever. If you are under 17 and take a picture of yourself, you've just made child pornography. If you send the picture, you've just distributed child pornography. If your child was arrested, they would be classified as a sex offender and at the very least, be put on probation for six to 10 years. They must also be registered as a sex offender. It's not just the Internet either; cell phones have made it even easier to send and take pictures.

The next speaker put a personal perspective on the bullying situation. Daria Ferrara is a graduate of St. John's University with a Bachelor's degree in Criminal Justice and Political Science. She recently received her Master's of Professional Studies in Criminal Justice Leadership. Daria grew up in East Islip. She shared her story of the emotional and physical abuse she received throughout her school years because of her weight and how it nearly led to her suicide. "Forty-three percent of kids have been a victim of cyber-bullying," she said. "Sit down and talk to your children. Have your computers in a central location. Create a safe haven for your children. Lastly, keep conversations open in the community and school district so parents can stay informed."

Officer Anthony Dolan informed parents about the ComputerCOP CD, which was available for everyone in the audience. The CD is a software tool that enables a parent to search for and review images, Web pages and text documents on a computer, even after they have been deleted. The Suffolk County Sheriff's Department is providing the free CD to residents and 65,000 copies have been distributed to date. The software was purchased with confiscated drug money. According to Stephen Delgiorno, creator of the program, the CD can find deleted files, cookies, caches, pictures, videos, e-mails and more. There is a 2,000 word database that is searchable as well. "This is a true forensic search on your computer," he said.

Bullying isn't just an online threat and it's not relegated strictly to older children. Outside the lecture was a display by the elementary schools with books and handouts for parents of younger children. Best Buy employees were also on hand to tell parents about cell phone applications that feature GPS tracking, and can tell you when your children have arrived or departed a specific location.  

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