What would you think if I told you I had a drug that would make it unnecessary for you to urinate more than four times a year? Would you think I had lost my mind? Certainly you would think this was absurd, even dangerous.

Yet, turn on your TV and there are smiling, attractive air heads blithely telling young women that there is this marvelous drug that can give them only four menstrual cycles per year and prevent pregnancy. Look at them swimming and dancing around in the commercial: We are supposed to think this is a good thing.

Ladies, this is possibly the worst idea pharmaceutical "science" has ever presented to the unsuspecting public. Your bodies are absolutely perfect. Their form and function is designed in ways so ingenious as to defy imagination. Science is always striving to improve upon this divinely inspired design, and in the process, they have given us the scourge of hormone replacement therapy, sleeping medications which cause memory loss and psychosis and addiction and lest we forget, drugs for arthritis and psoriasis which lead to lymphoma and multiple sclerosis.

These are only a few of their triumphs. Of course they have also given us the boon of antibiotics, but the widespread use of these drugs has led to the era of the "super bug." Fantastically strong and drug resistant strains of bacteria are becoming more and more widespread. And deadly.

All  of us know the female body is designed to have a menstrual period approximately every 28 days if there is no fertilized egg to embrace. This is normal and natural, which is not to say it isn't a nuisance sometimes. Every girl knows the misery of getting one's period the day of Prom or her wedding or some other exciting event.

We refer to our periods as the "curse," so why wouldn't we want to reduce this annoying monthly event to only once a quarter if we could? Because it is freakishly unnatural and in my professional opinion, potentially life threatening.

A woman's body is like a fine instrument, and when it runs in tune, it's music is beautiful. Put one key out of tune, and discord ensues. We have seen this over and over with drugs targeted to be sold to women, who in their trust, accept what the doctor tells them about the safety of these products. Chances are, the doctor is relying on what the salesperson has told him or her about the drug, not personal experience. As I have said before, protect yourselves.

So now we have a form of birth control which I and many of my very concerned colleagues believe is the single most dangerous  to women ever released by the FDA. Who knows what the long term effects of menstrual suppression will be? The regular pill is already the culprit in certain forms of cancer, heart disease, blood clotting disorders and infertility. Do we need another potentially more lethal "pill" on the market? I say resoundingly and unequivocally, "NO!"

You might be in your early twenties now and are more concerned with an unplanned or unwanted pregnancy. You may love the idea of the freedom of four periods a year. If you were my daughter, and I have two, I would absolutely put on my most horrifying "mom face" and forbid you to take these drugs. There are other much safer ways to prevent pregnancy, and should you need a reminder, the pill does not protect against STDs and HIV/AIDS. 

It's very important to engage in sexual activity in a responsible and mature way, but it is even more important to ensure that your birth control is not going to kill you down the line. The convenience of a period free life might sound alluring at first, but there should be grave concerns in regard to the damage that tampering with your body and your hormones can create.

There is some kind of weird taboo concerning our periods that even tampon makers bought into. Back in the 1980s they developed a "super mega tampon," which they boasted lasted all day and all night. How convenient! Just go about your daily life and forget you even have your period. Suddenly, women were becoming dreadfully ill and even dying of the formerly unknown "Toxic Shock Syndrome."  Of course, the women themselves were blamed for the illness, even to the point of being accused of personal misconduct. 

I had a cousin who nearly died of this terrible disease, and suffers to this day from its effects, one of them being a total loss of hearing.  I am happy to say the  "super mega tampons" were finally removed from the shelves and "Toxic Shock Syndrome" went back to being an extremely rare occurrence.

I am not a promoter of any birth control pill, as there are too many side effects from them. Perhaps you remember the makers of  a popular pill having to take to the airwaves last year to explain away some of the unfounded hype they blew our way, only to run afoul of someone at the FDA who wasn't sleeping. For the sake of all the women who are of childbearing age and under 35, those whom this drug shamelessly targets, I hope they will wake up to the very real dangers of long term menstrual suppression. 

Please, ladies, allow your wonderful bodies to function as they were designed to function for thousands of years. Your period is a monthly miracle, part of the greatness of being a woman. Don't take these drugs.

BACH FLOWER REMEDIES OF THE WEEK 

HONEYSUCKLE- If strolling down memory lane is taking up a lot of your time and you find yourself dwelling on past events or "if only" is the way you start too many sentences, you need Honeysuckle. It's also very good for those suffering bereavement and helps you to focus on the present here and now with out the past dominating one's thoughts. 

HORNBEAM- Procrastinating? Lethargic? Mentally weary? Monday morning blues last all week? Hornbeam helps to lift these feelings and let you get on with it. 

If you would like an appointment with Dr. Kleine, please call us at 631.472.8139.